


Thinking of You

by QueenPunk



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Longing, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8062222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenPunk/pseuds/QueenPunk
Summary: Even apart, their thoughts always seem to turn towards one another.





	1. Thinking of You (Death)

He thought of her in the quiet of their living room, late at night, the volume lowered on the television. 

This show is stupid, he would think. She would love it and laugh loudly next to him. Her eyes would glance towards his to see if she were annoying him–and she would be and a mischevious grin would stretch across her face. She would laugh louder, more to get a rise out of him than because of the jokes.

He longed for the sound of her laughter. He wanted it to fill the house and beat out the conformity his life had become.

He thought of her as he walked with his son along the riverbank, staring up at the sky as the fireworks rained down.

He remembered other times where she was beside him, eyes wide and riveted to the falling lights. The first time, he had barely noticed the way her violet eyes were perfect frames for the fireworks to reflect off of–round and dark and beautiful. The second time, ice was under their feet and their words were laced with goodbye and he noticed. He noticed the pink of her cheeks and her long black lashes and the cute pout of her mouth and how small her hand was in his.

He thought of her at the supermarket. He stared at the juice boxes for a few minutes, tempted to buy a pack. He didn’t. When he saw a crate of peaches he cursed the world for letting him think of her. 

He thought of her most in the quiet moments, where he felt that something was missing but could never make himself form what was missing. He was terrified that the moment he acknowledged why he thought of her in those moments it would all be over.

He thought of her and wondered if she ever thought of him. If she ever felt that there was something off-balanced inside. If she ever missed him.

If she ever l—- —.

He never thought of her. That’s the only answer he could give.


	2. Thinking of You (Berry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rukia.

She thought of him during the chaos of morning drills, her newly assigned soldiers milling below her as she observed them.

They’re so fresh, so dedicated, she would think. He would love this and laugh as he watched her subordinates look up to give her reverent looks. His eyes would glance to look at her slyly as he teased her about–probably something regarding her height and her current station–and she would argue against whatever accusation he would shoot at her. To escape her wrath, he would jump down into the training yard, trying to hide his smile with a scowl. Once his feet would hit the ground, he’d probably help train up the recruits. 

But, even then he would keep looking at her, supporting her from the ground up. His expression–

It did her no good to think about the expressions he would give her.

Yet–

–despite her choice–

–she longed for those looks. She longed to have the hole in her heart, her life, her job filled. She wanted him to be next to her, creating chaos and making the planets align like he had been born to. She wanted to finish what they had begun, not see it crumble down around her.

She thought of him as she walked with her husband and daughter through the busy streets of her home district, on their way to visit a family of gravestones. She stared up at the gathering storm clouds, the barking of dogs and angry voices reaching a damning crescendo around her. 

We would have fixed this, she thought.

She remembered other storms they had weathered together, standing side by side. His eyes–whether they were a dark brown that reminded her of melted chocolate or flat gold that reminded her of the sharp edge of a sword–had always been so confident, so sure when he stared down an enemy. She remembered the first time she had first looked into those unflinching eyes. She hadn’t known that the boy she gave her powers to save his family would one day become the man in her heart who saved the world time after time. She hadn’t known that that ridiculous mop of orange hair would one day become the first thing she looked for on the battlefield. She hadn’t known that they would grow together in so many ways, their destiny becoming so entwined that their paths were no longer meant for one set of footprints. 

If she had known…if she could go back to that first night…would she still–?

(The answer was yes. No matter the outcome, she would always save him.)

She thought of him at Captain’s meetings. She stared at the white haoris and imagined him in one. Her eyes burned and her palms and her throat went dry and her heart sped up at the thought. She cursed herself for torturing herself by thinking of him.

She thought of him during chaos and order, she thought of him during the inconvenience of her afterlife. She thought of him during the moments she felt something was missing or lost in her world and she knew what it was but she refused to say it out loud because if she did then the fragile world they had rebuilt would collapse. She was terrified that if the world broke one more time that it would never recover.

That they would never recover.

She thought of him and wondered if he ever thought of her. If he felt that there was something off-balanced in the universe. If he ever missed her.

If he ever —– —.

She never thought of him. That’s the only answer the fragile world could handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are equivalent to giving a starving artist fresh baked cookies! Tell me what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are equivalent to giving a starving artist fresh baked cookies! Tell me what you think!


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